GRANTing permissions across different databases (schemas) - sql-server

I'm securing the DB by only allowing interaction with the DB through a series of Sprocs; pretty common fare.
I've dug up and modified a script which loops through and assigns the user EXECUTE permission for all non-system SProcs. It works a treat except that I'd ideally like to add it to the Master DB so that I can easily use it for any subsequent projects. Yes, I could save simple as a .sql file but I'd prefer it this way.
The problem is that I don't know how to dynamically refer to objects in another DB. For example, I can easily query on MyDB.dbo.INFORMATION_SCHEMA.ROUTINES, but if the DB name is dynamic (e.g. #MyDBName), how can I query the objects in this DB?
Edit: Thanks to the posters below, I now have a working solution:
USE [master]
GO
SET ANSI_NULLS ON
GO
SET QUOTED_IDENTIFIER ON
GO
ALTER PROCEDURE [dbo].[spGrantExec]
#User sysname,
#DB varchar(50),
#Target varchar(50)
AS
/*---------------------------- SQL 2005 + -------------------------------*/
SET NOCOUNT ON
-- 1 - Variable declarations
DECLARE #SQL varchar(8000)
-- 2 - Create temporary table
Set #SQL =
'USE #DB
DECLARE #MAXOID int
DECLARE #OwnerName varchar(128)
DECLARE #ObjectName varchar(128)
DECLARE #CMD1 varchar(8000)
CREATE TABLE #StoredProcedures
(OID int IDENTITY (1,1),
StoredProcOwner varchar(128) NOT NULL,
StoredProcName varchar(128) NOT NULL)
-- 3 - Populate temporary table
INSERT INTO #StoredProcedures (StoredProcOwner, StoredProcName)
SELECT ROUTINE_SCHEMA, ROUTINE_NAME
FROM INFORMATION_SCHEMA.ROUTINES
WHERE ROUTINE_NAME LIKE ''' + #Target + '%''
AND ROUTINE_TYPE = ''PROCEDURE''
-- 4 - Capture the #MAXOID value
SELECT #MAXOID = MAX(OID) FROM #StoredProcedures
-- 5 - WHILE loop
WHILE #MAXOID > 0
BEGIN
-- 6 - Initialize the variables
SELECT #OwnerName = StoredProcOwner,
#ObjectName = StoredProcName
FROM #StoredProcedures
WHERE OID = #MAXOID
-- 7 - Build the string
SELECT #CMD1 = ''GRANT EXEC ON '' + ''['' + #OwnerName + '']'' + ''.'' + ''['' + #ObjectName + '']'' + '' TO #user''
-- 8 - Execute the string
Print #CMD1
EXEC(#CMD1)
-- 9 - Decrement #MAXOID
SET #MAXOID = #MAXOID - 1
END
-- 10 - Drop the temporary table
DROP TABLE #StoredProcedures'
Set #SQL = REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(#SQL, '#DB', #DB), '#User', #User), '#Target', #Target)
--Select #SQL
--Print #SQL
Exec (#SQL)
SET NOCOUNT OFF

Similiar to #Cade's answer, the way to do this is to use dynamic sql. Before each call to a database table, add '#DbName.' Then replace the #DbName with the actual database name (the database name can't be passed as a variable in SQL, so you have to do the replace).
Also Cursors are normally considered evil for performance reasons, however using one in this case makes sense. For one, it would greatly simplify the procedure, plus since you're only going to run this once during application updates, you probably won't notice a performance hit, even if it added an extra second or two (which I doubt it would add anywhere near that much).
ALTER PROCEDURE [dbo].[spGrantExec]
#User SysName,
#DbName VarChar(512)
AS
BEGIN
DECLARE #Sql VarChar(1024)
SET #Sql = 'DECLARE #OwnerName varchar(128)
DECLARE #ObjectName varchar(128)
DECLARE #Cmd1 VarChar(128)
DECLARE ProcCursor CURSOR FOR
SELECT ROUTINE SCHEMA, ROUTINE NAME
FROM #DbName.INFORMATION SCHEMA.ROUTINES
WHERE ROUTINENAME NOT LIKE ''dt %'' AND ROUTINE TYPE = ''PROCEDURE''
OPEN ProcCursor
FETCH NEXT FROM ProcCursor INTO #OwnerName, #ObjectName
WHILE ##FETCH STATUS = 0
BEGIN
SET #CMD1 = ''GRANT EXEC ON '' + ''['' + #OwnerName + '']'' + ''.'' + ''['' + #ObjectName + '']'' + '' TO '' + ''#user''
EXEC (#CMD1)
FETCH NEXT FROM ProcCursor INTO #OwnerName, #ObjectName
END
CLOSE ProcCursor
DEALLOCATE ProcCursor
'
SET #Sql = Replace(Replace(#Sql, '#DbName', #DbName), '#user', #User)
EXEC (#Sql)
END
You can call this using: EXEC [spGrantExec] 'bob', 'Northwind'
Sorry the spacing is a little off in the sp. Developed using Sql 2005.

I found another technique, which I think is cleaner:
SELECT #sql = 'CREATE VIEW ...'
SELECT #sp_executesql = quotename(#dbname) + '..sp_executesql'
EXEC #sp_executesql #sql
This relies on setting the database context by calling sp_executesql in the other database (just like one could call an SP in any database).
In your case it would be equivalent to:
SELECT #sp_executesql = quotename(#dbname) + '..sp_executesql'
EXEC #sp_executesql #CMD1

You can use the double exec technique.
In your case, instead of just:
EXEC(#CMD1)
You would have:
SET #CMD1 =
'USE OtherDatabase;
EXEC (''' + REPLACE(#CMD1, '''', '''''') + ''')'
EXEC(#CMD1)

Related

SQL Server Table Parameter without defining fields [duplicate]

I am trying to execute this query:
declare #tablename varchar(50)
set #tablename = 'test'
select * from #tablename
This produces the following error:
Msg 1087, Level 16, State 1, Line 5
Must declare the table variable "#tablename".
What's the right way to have the table name populated dynamically?
For static queries, like the one in your question, table names and column names need to be static.
For dynamic queries, you should generate the full SQL dynamically, and use sp_executesql to execute it.
Here is an example of a script used to compare data between the same tables of different databases:
Static query:
SELECT * FROM [DB_ONE].[dbo].[ACTY]
EXCEPT
SELECT * FROM [DB_TWO].[dbo].[ACTY]
Since I want to easily change the name of table and schema, I have created this dynamic query:
declare #schema sysname;
declare #table sysname;
declare #query nvarchar(max);
set #schema = 'dbo'
set #table = 'ACTY'
set #query = '
SELECT * FROM [DB_ONE].' + QUOTENAME(#schema) + '.' + QUOTENAME(#table) + '
EXCEPT
SELECT * FROM [DB_TWO].' + QUOTENAME(#schema) + '.' + QUOTENAME(#table);
EXEC sp_executesql #query
Since dynamic queries have many details that need to be considered and they are hard to maintain, I recommend that you read: The curse and blessings of dynamic SQL
Change your last statement to this:
EXEC('SELECT * FROM ' + #tablename)
This is how I do mine in a stored procedure. The first block will declare the variable, and set the table name based on the current year and month name, in this case TEST_2012OCTOBER. I then check if it exists in the database already, and remove if it does. Then the next block will use a SELECT INTO statement to create the table and populate it with records from another table with parameters.
--DECLARE TABLE NAME VARIABLE DYNAMICALLY
DECLARE #table_name varchar(max)
SET #table_name =
(SELECT 'TEST_'
+ DATENAME(YEAR,GETDATE())
+ UPPER(DATENAME(MONTH,GETDATE())) )
--DROP THE TABLE IF IT ALREADY EXISTS
IF EXISTS(SELECT name
FROM sysobjects
WHERE name = #table_name AND xtype = 'U')
BEGIN
EXEC('drop table ' + #table_name)
END
--CREATES TABLE FROM DYNAMIC VARIABLE AND INSERTS ROWS FROM ANOTHER TABLE
EXEC('SELECT * INTO ' + #table_name + ' FROM dbo.MASTER WHERE STATUS_CD = ''A''')
Use:
CREATE PROCEDURE [dbo].[GetByName]
#TableName NVARCHAR(100)
AS
BEGIN
-- SET NOCOUNT ON added to prevent extra result sets from
-- interfering with SELECT statements.
SET NOCOUNT ON;
DECLARE #sSQL nvarchar(500);
SELECT #sSQL = N'SELECT * FROM' + QUOTENAME(#TableName);
EXEC sp_executesql #sSQL
END
You can't use a table name for a variable. You'd have to do this instead:
DECLARE #sqlCommand varchar(1000)
SET #sqlCommand = 'SELECT * from yourtable'
EXEC (#sqlCommand)
You'll need to generate the SQL content dynamically:
declare #tablename varchar(50)
set #tablename = 'test'
declare #sql varchar(500)
set #sql = 'select * from ' + #tablename
exec (#sql)
Use sp_executesql to execute any SQL, e.g.
DECLARE #tbl sysname,
#sql nvarchar(4000),
#params nvarchar(4000),
#count int
DECLARE tblcur CURSOR STATIC LOCAL FOR
SELECT object_name(id) FROM syscolumns WHERE name = 'LastUpdated'
ORDER BY 1
OPEN tblcur
WHILE 1 = 1
BEGIN
FETCH tblcur INTO #tbl
IF ##fetch_status <> 0
BREAK
SELECT #sql =
N' SELECT #cnt = COUNT(*) FROM dbo.' + quotename(#tbl) +
N' WHERE LastUpdated BETWEEN #fromdate AND ' +
N' coalesce(#todate, ''99991231'')'
SELECT #params = N'#fromdate datetime, ' +
N'#todate datetime = NULL, ' +
N'#cnt int OUTPUT'
EXEC sp_executesql #sql, #params, '20060101', #cnt = #count OUTPUT
PRINT #tbl + ': ' + convert(varchar(10), #count) + ' modified rows.'
END
DEALLOCATE tblcur
You need to use the SQL Server dynamic SQL:
DECLARE #table NVARCHAR(128),
#sql NVARCHAR(MAX);
SET #table = N'tableName';
SET #sql = N'SELECT * FROM ' + #table;
Use EXEC to execute any SQL:
EXEC (#sql)
Use EXEC sp_executesql to execute any SQL:
EXEC sp_executesql #sql;
Use EXECUTE sp_executesql to execute any SQL:
EXECUTE sp_executesql #sql
Declare #tablename varchar(50)
set #tablename = 'Your table Name'
EXEC('select * from ' + #tablename)
Also, you can use this...
DECLARE #SeqID varchar(150);
DECLARE #TableName varchar(150);
SET #TableName = (Select TableName from Table);
SET #SeqID = 'SELECT NEXT VALUE FOR ' + #TableName + '_Data'
exec (#SeqID)
Declare #fs_e int, #C_Tables CURSOR, #Table varchar(50)
SET #C_Tables = CURSOR FOR
select name from sysobjects where OBJECTPROPERTY(id, N'IsUserTable') = 1 AND name like 'TR_%'
OPEN #C_Tables
FETCH #C_Tables INTO #Table
SELECT #fs_e = sdec.fetch_Status FROM sys.dm_exec_cursors(0) as sdec where sdec.name = '#C_Tables'
WHILE ( #fs_e <> -1)
BEGIN
exec('Select * from ' + #Table)
FETCH #C_Tables INTO #Table
SELECT #fs_e = sdec.fetch_Status FROM sys.dm_exec_cursors(0) as sdec where sdec.name = '#C_Tables'
END

SQL search across multiple columns in any order

My users are trying to find records in my SQL db by providing simple text strings like this:
SCRAP 000000152 TMB-0000000025
These values can be in any order and any may be excluded. For example, they may enter:
SCRAP
TMB-0000000025 SCRAP
000000152 SCRAP
SCRAP 000000152
TMB-0000000025 000000152
All should work and include the same record as the original search, but they may also contain additional records because fewer columns are used in the match.
Here is a sample table to use for the results:
DECLARE #search1 varchar(50) = 'SCRAP 000000152 TMB-0000000025'
DECLARE #search2 varchar(50) = 'SCRAP'
DECLARE #search3 varchar(50) = 'TMB-0000000025 SCRAP'
DECLARE #search4 varchar(50) = '000000152 SCRAP'
DECLARE #search5 varchar(50) = 'SCRAP 000000152'
DECLARE #search6 varchar(50) = 'TMB-0000000025 000000152'
DECLARE #table TABLE (WC varchar(20),WO varchar(20),PN varchar(20))
INSERT INTO #table
SELECT 'SCRAP','000000152','TMB-0000000025' UNION
SELECT 'SCRAP','000012312','121-0000121515' UNION
SELECT 'SM01','000000152','121-0000155' UNION
SELECT 'TH01','000123151','TMB-0000000025'
SELECT * FROM #table
One additional wrinkle, the user does not have to enter 000000152, they can enter 152 and it should find the same results.
I can use patindex, but it requires the users to enter the search terms in a specific order, or for me to have an exponentially larger string to compare as I try to put them in all possible arrangements.
What is the best way to do this in SQL? Or, is this outside the capabilities of SQL? It is quite possible that the table will have well over 10,000 records (for some instances even over 100,000), so the query has to be efficient.
Agree with #MitchWheat (as usual). This database is not designed for queries like that, nor would any kind of "basic query" help. Best way would be to build a list of strings appearing in any column of the database, mapped back to the source column and row, and search that lookup table for your strings. This is pretty much what Lucene and any other full-text search library will do for you. SQL has a native implementation, but if the pros say go with a third party implementation, I'd say it's worth a look-see.
You can try this SP:
USE master
GO
CREATE PROCEDURE sp_FindStringInTable #stringToFind VARCHAR(100), #schema sysname, #table sysname
AS
DECLARE #sqlCommand VARCHAR(8000)
DECLARE #where VARCHAR(8000)
DECLARE #columnName sysname
DECLARE #cursor VARCHAR(8000)
BEGIN TRY
SET #sqlCommand = 'SELECT * FROM [' + #schema + '].[' + #table + '] WHERE'
SET #where = ''
SET #cursor = 'DECLARE col_cursor CURSOR FOR SELECT COLUMN_NAME
FROM ' + DB_NAME() + '.INFORMATION_SCHEMA.COLUMNS
WHERE TABLE_SCHEMA = ''' + #schema + '''
AND TABLE_NAME = ''' + #table + '''
AND DATA_TYPE IN (''char'',''nchar'',''ntext'',''nvarchar'',''text'',''varchar'')'
EXEC (#cursor)
OPEN col_cursor
FETCH NEXT FROM col_cursor INTO #columnName
WHILE ##FETCH_STATUS = 0
BEGIN
IF #where <> ''
SET #where = #where + ' OR'
SET #where = #where + ' [' + #columnName + '] LIKE ''' + #stringToFind + ''''
FETCH NEXT FROM col_cursor INTO #columnName
END
CLOSE col_cursor
DEALLOCATE col_cursor
SET #sqlCommand = #sqlCommand + #where
--PRINT #sqlCommand
EXEC (#sqlCommand)
END TRY
BEGIN CATCH
PRINT 'There was an error. Check to make sure object exists.'
IF CURSOR_STATUS('variable', 'col_cursor') <> -3
BEGIN
CLOSE col_cursor
DEALLOCATE col_cursor
END
END CATCH
This will have results as follow:
USE AdventureWorks
GO
EXEC sp_FindStringInTable 'Irv%', 'Person', 'Address'
USE AdventureWorks
GO
EXEC sp_FindStringInTable '%land%', 'Person', 'Address'
That's all there is to it. Once this has been created you can use this against any table and any database on your server.(Read More)

Set variable as schema

I have a query that I want to be able to use across database schemas. Right now it is written so that I need to replace the schema in several places of the query. How do I set that up as a variable so that all I need to do is change it in one place?
You can do this with Dynamic SQL:
DECLARE #sql VARCHAR(MAX)
,#schema VARCHAR(255) = 'dbo'
SET #sql = 'SELECT *
FROM '+#schema+'.yourTable
'
EXEC (#sql)
You could use this in a cursor to loop through schema's:
DECLARE #Iterator varchar(255)
,#strSQL varchar(MAX)
DECLARE xyz CURSOR
FOR
--Select stuff to iterate over
SELECT name
FROM sys.schemas
OPEN xyz
FETCH NEXT FROM xyz
INTO #Iterator
WHILE ##FETCH_STATUS = 0
BEGIN
--Do stuff
SET #strSQL = 'SELECT *
FROM '+#Iterator+'.yourTable
'
Exec (#strSQL)
FETCH NEXT FROM xyz
INTO #Iterator
END
CLOSE xyz
DEALLOCATE xyz
GO
To test your dynamic SQL statements, you can change EXEC to PRINT and ensure that the resulting query is as you intended.
Synonyms might be the answer to your question.
You can use dynamic SQL. Here is an example -
DECLARE #Column varchar(25)
DECLARE #sqlStmt varchar(max)
SET #Column = 'MyColumn'
SET #sqlStmt = N'SELECT ' + #Column + ' FROM MyTable'
EXEC (#sqlStmt)

Can I apply an update statement to multiple databases at the same time?

Say I want to run the following:
update users set age = 10
on databases:
db1, db2, db3
All on the same server, I want to loop through and perform the same action.
Currently I am doing this manually using management studio via the dropdown.
Hoping there is a better way.
You could probably do it with dynamic SQL. Something like so:
create table #dbs (db_name sysname not null)
insert into #dbs values ('db1'),('db2'),('db3')
declare curs cursor for
select db_name from #dbs
declare #db sysname, #sql nvarchar(max)
open curs
while(1=1)
begin
fetch next from curs into #db
if (##fetch_status <> 0)
break
set #sql = 'update ' + quotename(#db) + '.dbo.users set age = 10'
exec(#sql)
end
close curs
deallocate curs
drop table #dbs
Not sure about doing it 'dynamically', i.e. a FOR-EACH style loop on all the databases in a server, but this should work:
USE db1
update users set age = 10
GO
USE db2
update users set age = 10
GO
USE db3
update users set age = 10
Designate a server as a central management server and then add the other servers to the server group. Then you can run the update on all databases within the group. http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/bb934126.aspx
use [WWAUTHxxx__] -- a db containing active databases.
set nocount on
declare #Catalog as nvarchar(32)
declare #LibraryName as varchar(255)
declare #dbtable as varchar(50)
declare #retval as nvarchar(50)
declare #sSQL as nvarchar(max)
declare #parmdef as nvarchar(500)
declare #retvalout as nvarchar(50)
Declare Library_Cursor Cursor for
select top(1000) xCatalog, xLibraryName
from Active_DBs
order by xcatalog
Open Library_Cursor;
Fetch Next from Library_Cursor into #Catalog, #LibraryName
while ##Fetch_status = 0
begin
set #dbTable = #Catalog + '.dbo.las_circperiods'
set #ParmDef = N'#retvalOUT int OUTPUT';
set #sSQL = N'Select #retvalout = count(*) from ' + #dbtable
+ ' where xlastcircdate is null'
exec sp_executesql #ssql,#parmdef,#retvalout=#retval output
if #retval > 0 -- check/print Sql and then activate.
-- I like checking to see the potentially affected databases.
begin
print #Catalog + ',' + #LibraryName + ',' + #retval
set #ssql = N'update ' + #dbTable
+ ' set xlastcircdate = '''' '
+ ' where xlastcircdate is null'
-- print #ssql -- View what you might will do
exec sp_executesql #ssql -- Do it.
end
Fetch Next from Library_Cursor into #Catalog, #LibraryName
end;
close Library_cursor
Deallocate Library_cursor

How to create a UDF or View in another database that references the correct sys.objects table in the caller?

Using SQL Server 2008, I'd like to create a UDF that gives me the create date of an object. This is the code:
create function dbo.GetObjCreateDate(#objName sysname) returns datetime as
begin
declare #result datetime
select #result = create_date from sys.objects where name = #objname
return #result
end
go
I'd like to put this UDF in the master database or some other shared database so that it is accessible from anywhere, except that if I do that then the sys.objects reference pulls from the master database instead of the database that I'm initiating my query from. I know you can do this as the information_schema views sit in master and just wrap calls to local instances of sys.objects, so I'm hoping there's a simple way to do that with my UDF as well.
Try this:
CREATE FUNCTION dbo.GetObjCreateDate(#objName sysname, #dbName sysname)
RETURNS datetime AS
BEGIN
DECLARE #createDate datetime;
DECLARE #params nvarchar(50);
DECLARE #sql nvarchar(500);
SET #params = '#createDate datetime OUTPUT';
SELECT #sql = 'SELECT #createDate = create_date FROM ' + #dbName + '.sys.objects WHERE name = ''' + #objname + '''';
EXEC sp_executesql #sql, #params, #createDate = #createDate OUTPUT;
RETURN #createDate
END
;
Why not do this instead?
Create a stored procedure that creates a view in the master database containing all of the information in sys.objects from each database on the server.
Create a DDL Trigger that gets fired whenever a CREATE, ALTER or DROP statement is executed for a database. The trigger would then execute the stored procedure in step #1. This allows the view to be automatically updated.
(Optional) Create a user defined function that queries the view for the creation date of a given object.
Stored Procedure DDL:
USE [master];
GO
CREATE PROCEDURE dbo.BuildAllServerObjectsView
AS
SET NOCOUNT ON;
IF OBJECT_ID('master.dbo.AllServerObjects') IS NOT NULL
EXEC master..sp_SQLExec 'DROP VIEW dbo.AllServerObjects;';
IF OBJECT_ID('tempdb..Databases') IS NOT NULL
DROP TABLE #Databases;
DECLARE #CreateView varchar(8000);
SET #CreateView = 'CREATE VIEW dbo.AllServerObjects AS' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10) + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10);
SELECT name COLLATE SQL_Latin1_General_CP1_CI_AS AS 'name'
INTO #Databases
FROM sys.databases
ORDER BY name;
DECLARE #DatabaseName nvarchar(100);
WHILE (SELECT COUNT(*) FROM #Databases) > 0
BEGIN
SET #DatabaseName = (SELECT TOP 1 name FROM #Databases ORDER BY name);
SET #CreateView +='SELECT N'+QUOTENAME(#DatabaseName, '''')+' AS ''database_name''' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' ,name COLLATE SQL_Latin1_General_CP1_CI_AS AS ''object_name''' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' ,object_id' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' ,principal_id' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' ,schema_id' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' ,parent_object_id' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' ,type' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' ,type_desc' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' ,create_date' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' ,modify_date' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' ,is_ms_shipped' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' ,is_published' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' ,is_schema_published' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10)
+ ' FROM ' + QUOTENAME(#DatabaseName) + '.sys.objects';
IF (SELECT COUNT(*) FROM #Databases) > 1
SET #CreateView += CHAR(13)+CHAR(10) + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10) + ' UNION' + CHAR(13)+CHAR(10);
ELSE
SET #CreateView += ';';
DELETE #Databases
WHERE name = #DatabaseName;
END;
--PRINT #CreateView --<== Uncomment this to see the DDL for the view.
EXEC master..sp_SQLExec #CreateView;
IF OBJECT_ID('tempdb..Databases') IS NOT NULL
DROP TABLE #Databases;
GO
Function DDL:
USE [master];
GO
CREATE FUNCTION dbo.GetObjCreateDate(#DatabaseName sysname, #objName sysname) RETURNS DATETIME AS
BEGIN
DECLARE #result datetime;
SELECT #result = create_date
FROM master.dbo.AllServerObjects
WHERE [database_name] = #DatabaseName
AND [object_name] = #objname;
RETURN #result;
END
GO
Sample Usage:
SELECT master.dbo.GetObjCreateDate('MyDatabase', 'SomeObject') AS 'Created';
SELECT master.dbo.GetObjCreateDate(DB_NAME(), 'spt_monitor') AS 'Created';
Does it have to be a function? If you just want it accessible everywhere, a trick is to put your code in a varchar and sp_executesql it:
create procedure dbo.GetObjCreateDate(#objName sysname)
as
declare #sql nvarchar(max)
select #sql = 'select create_date from sys.objects where name = ''' + #objname + ''''
EXEC sp_executesql #sql
go
There seems to be an undocumented stored procedure that allows you to create your own system objects: sp_ms_marksystemobject
You can read more on http://www.mssqltips.com/tip.asp?tip=1612
Have a look at How to Write Your Own System Functions. I believe that it may help you

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